The Speaker of the House's Evil Plan
by sparkleyoufool
Summary: A modern version of Richard III where Richard is the Speaker of the House trying to become the President.


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**Speaker of the House's Evil Plan**

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**Author's Note: This is a play of Richard III that we modernized for a contest in school, so it's in play format. Remember that the Mustang is telling the story, so it will flash back from Richard to the Mustang. Hope you guys laugh!**

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*The Play starts of with a Mustang car cowering on stage*

Richard: A car, a car, my country for a car!!!

Mustang: Richard is being chased by the FBI. He is trying to use me to get out of the country!

Richard: Ah, sweet refuge, finally my car.

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_*checks pockets*_

Richard: Blast!!! Somebody stole my keys!

FBI: There he is! Get him!

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_*Richard runs backstage and gets shot*_

FBI: Got him! Finally it's over.

Mustang: Now that that is over, let me tell you how this started. It all began with Richard wanting to be the President. Richard is the Speaker of the House and wants so badly to be President that he'd go the whole way as in killing everyone in his way. He has nothing to live for, no wife, no children. The only thing he has is his job (which he doesn't like that much anyway) and he is mad at the world, because he is hunchbacked, and his legs are uneven. Everyone has made fun of him, and no one has ever told him that they love him.

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_*FLASHBACK*_

Richard: No one likes me. They all make fun of me…..I hate them! I hate them! I hate them all!......Wait… I know a way I can get back at them…..I will kill the Vice President and the President so I can rule the world ! Yes, that's it!

It is the world I want to rule, then no one shall call me a fool.

I'll rule it with an iron fist, and kill all that try to resist.

I'll be in full command, and cause all to meet my demands.

To get there I will have to kill,

but then they'll think I'm mentally ill!

You fancy me mad, don't you?

Ok, so maybe not rule the world, but come close enough to satisfy me. Hmm…. Now all I have to do is come up with an amazing plan!!!

Mustang: So after a few days, Richard camp up with a plan, which was to hire a murderer, to kill the Vice President and then the President three day later.

Richard: Now where am I going to find a murderer??? Hmm…Ohh! I know! Craig's List! Yes! And the Vice President makes regular stops to Burger King so I can kill her in the bathroom! Oh! And the President makes regular stops to Mc. Donald's! HA! I'm a genius!

Mustang: So Richard goes to Craig's (which by the way is a good way to get some really cool stuff!) But anyway, Richard told the murderers the plan and whatnot.

Richard: Ok. I need you to wait until the Vice President goes in to the bathroom. Kill her, and leave her somewhere. Just don't leave any evidence, because if you, you must swear on your life not to tell them that I was behind this, because I have other people working for me.

Murderer: Yes, Sir!

Richard: Ok. Go to it!

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*Murderer Exits*

Richard: Ha! My plan is working perfectly! Now I will get what I have always deserved! Or at least I think so!

Mustang: So he was off with his evil plan the "Rule the World" as he calls it.

Vice President: I'm off for my morning jog. I will be back shortly.

Secret Service: Be careful Madam Vice President!

Mustang: So she was off to Burger King! Not knowing that this would be the last time she would see her friends and family. Or, that the murderer had cleverly disguised himself as a cashier.

Vice President: I would like to order a Whopper Combo meal and a large milk shake.

Cashier: Ok, here you go, Madam Vice President.

Vice President: You know, I should probably go and wash my hands.

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* A toilet flushes*

VP: AHH!!! That reminds me of my worst nightmare! A swirly gone bad!!!

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*Murderer enters the bathroom. You hear a grunt and a muffled scream *

VP: Eww, at least flush it first!

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*Splash*

*Murderer enters drying their hands with a towel*

Murderer: Now for the President.

Mustang: So with the Vice President out of the way, Richard was the new Vice President. But his evil plan wasn't done yet.

President: I'm hungry. A Big Mac with cheese sounds great.

Secret Service: It's too dangerous to go out by yourself. Remember what happened to the Vice President?

Both: Eww…

President: True, then I'll disguise myself and go in. You can wait outside. If I have bodyguards all over they will know I'm not just a normal person.

Secret Service: Ok, I guess we can do that.

Mustang: Little did he know that the Murderer had quit his job at Burger King and gotten hired at McDonald's. He knew that the President like to come by for lunch.

Cashier: May I take your order?

President: Yes, I would like a Big Mac with cheese and a large Cherry Coke.

Murderer: Ok, one moment please.

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*The Murderer pulls out a cherry bomb and puts it in the Coke*

Murderer: Cherry Bomb….

President: What?

Murderer: Oh! Cherry Bomb! It's this new flavor! It gives it this extra kick!_*mumbles*_ Explosion….

President: What explosion?

Murderer: The flavor just explodes in your mouth!

President: My drink feels a little heavier than usual…

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_*President shakes drink and it blows up the whole McDonalds*_

Richard: HA HA! YES! It is done! I am now the President of the United States! Ha Ha! Bow to me! Oh…uh…carry on.

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~Later that night a ghost pays a visit~

Ghost: I have and important message! You must die!

Richard: Are you a ghost?

Ghost: You people have no imagination. Of course I am!

Richard: Oh crap. Fine, I admit it. I had them killed!

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_*FBI hears Richard and chases him out of the building*_

Mustang: Richard tried to escape from the FBI on foot but was shot down. Well, that's it. The country went back to the way it was before Richard.

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**The End**

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**Author's Note: Review Please! ;-) I know it's a little different, but it's a good Shakespeare skit for school, considering the guidelines.**


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